Sid (Jeffrey Tambor): "Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That s***'ll come back with you."
Stu: "Am I missing a tooth?"
Phil: "Whose baby is that?"
Alan (Zach Galifianakis): "Check its collar or something."
Alan: “I shouldn’t be here. I’m not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school. Or a Chuck E. Cheese.”
Male Officer: Handsome your next (Talking about Phil) (Alan walks forward)
Male Officer: Not you fat Jesus
Phil Wenneck: To a night the four of us will never forget!
Stu: "We're not going to leave a baby in the room. There's a f***ing tiger in the bathroom."
Stu: "She is wearing my grandmother's Holocaust ring."
Alan: "I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."
Alan: "Next week's no good for me. The Jonas Brothers are in town."
Alan: "Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon."
Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that, or you guys just fuckin’ with me?
Alan: It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil: So does Joy Behar.
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